I put a Spell on you

So I just got back from the commissary. I really wanted some Ice Cream and blueberry bagels and some other "really healthy" foods. I got my food and was checking out when this Asian guy, (Korean I think), food bagger at the checkout started putting my things in his little rolling cart to take it out for me. I thought to myself, self, this guy thinks that if he takes my food out I will tip him. I laughed. People looked at me like I was crazy. So he took my stuff out to my car. I loaded it all into my car and the Asian man stood their thinking he was going to get some money. I laughed again. More people thought I was crazy. I sent him away empty handed and mad, muttering things under his breath. Little did I know, he was putting a spell on me. All the way home the paper bags kept ripping and falling apart. I finally made it back to the barracks and up three flights of stairs to my room. I got to my room and thought to myself again, Self, you have made it back, you are awesome. Then I opened my door and picked up the paper bag with the milk in it and yes, It ripped open and sent the Milk crashing onto the floor. As I was mopping the milk off the floor, I thought to myself for a third time, self, you got a spell put on you by a weird Asian man.
Good times.